The sky is falling

It just never seems to land...

My mother suffered congestive heart failure when I was born.

*whoa, whoa, whoa there bucky…. I subscribed to a music SubStack…. wtf are you doing?*

Shush, my darling…. you’re already reading… it’s too late to go back….

……

My mother suffered congestive heart failure when I was born.

Something about my enormous brain-holding head must’ve been too taxing on dear mother… and she nearly died shortly after (if it weren’t for an amazing doctor who I still remain thankful for to this day).

She was studying to be a pharmacist at the time, a dream that ended abruptly considering she’d no longer be able to sweep the floors of the house without needing to lie down to calm her heart.

My Dad, a delivery driver at the time for Entenmann’s Bakery in Scranton, PA… now with two kids (me and my brother), a extremely sick wife, and a f***load of coffee cake - Entenmann’s joke - now faced the reality of providing for his family, raising kids, and keeping the love of his life alive all at the same time…

So you can imagine the horror when just a few days after I was born (and my Mom was hospitalized), my father received a call from work letting him know that he had been laid off.

The sky is falling.

So that was my entry into the world… a family of 4 with a sick Mom and and terrified and depressed Dad…

My Dad would work odd jobs that barely paid the bills, and come home on his lunch break just to sit on the couch and think.

And over the course of my childhood and young adulthood (prime years of the ‘08 crisis), my father would be laid off multiple more times…

And each time, our family would be pushed to the brink of falling apart.

I remember coming home from school just a few days before layoffs were supposed to be announced at my Dad’s job and seeing my parents standing solemnly in the kitchen.

“What, did they decide to let you go early!?” I joked.

They did.

The sky is falling.

So it’s safe to say my Dad was not a particularly happy man, and I don’t blame him.

At his core, he was incredibly goofy with a heart of gold…. but when the sky is always falling, there isn’t much time for jokes.

But remarkably… no matter how bad it got…. my Dad (and our family) managed to find our way through.

Each time he was let go… he’d waste no time pounding the pavement to find his next opportunity.

Was he miserable, yes. But he made it happen.

Yes, there were blow up fights. Yes there were some tense times at the dinner table.

But 29 years later after my big, beautiful, exceptionally sized head touched air for the first time….

…. we’re all still here.

My Mom and Dad still peacefully reside in Scranton yelling things from opposite rooms that the other person can’t hear…

My Dad was able to eventually find stable work and retire and spends his days making wooden bowls in our backyard shed.

…. and we’re all….. still here.

And now, just 1 month shy of turning 30 (almost the same age my Dad was when he was first laid off)…. and 1 month from having my first baby….

I find myself, just like my Dad...

Worried that the sky is falling.

I recently put all my chips on the table by acquiring my record label, MAD Records.

It wasn’t on my 2024 bingo card to become a solo-preneur and to purchase this label outright, but circumstance and opportunity forced my hand late last year and now I find myself urgently spinning up a business before my son gets here.

And while I’m “living the dream”…. fighting tooth and nail to make it in the music industry…

…the echos of my parents’ experience ring out in my head every night when I’m falling asleep.

“What if you can’t do it? What if you fail?”

And it isn’t until I find myself sitting on the couch, thinking on my lunch break just like my Dad, that I realize how easy it is to fall into this trap.

To spend your life thinking that the sky is falling, and bracing for impact every day.

I feel the same pull my Dad must’ve felt… to sit and ruminate…. to worry… to fantasize about how it all might go wrong.

But I think of him now… spinning his wooden bowls in his shed and I can’t help but think….

What an incredible waste of time.

My Dad had every right to sit and worry, I don’t blame him one bit.

But there are so many moments of joy that he missed because he was staring off into a parallel universe where everything falls apart.

And, yes, things got extremely difficult, and he worked his ass of to make sure we survived…. but those moments are gone.

And the reality is, in just over a month, I’m going to have a brand new (likely big-headed) baby boy… and I refuse to ruin those moments worried about a sky that’s falling that never seems to land.

So what’s your point here, Gilbride?

My point is this:

1. I've had writers’ block and this was just what came out.

2. The sky is always falling if you’re looking for it. But life is what happens while you’re waiting for it to land.

And for my parents, it’s been 30 years since the sky started falling… and they’re still fighting over “who ate the Christmas chocolate my Mom was saving”.

So, yes, this doesn’t have to do with music…. I’M SORRY.

But if I’m going to build this record label and disrupt the music industry, I can’t always pretend like I’m not….. just a little scared.

So thank you to all who have supported our mission.

Thank you to everyone who has shared a kind word.

I will make you proud, I’ll make my parents proud, and most importantly…

I’m gonna enjoy the ride.

See you in a month with a baby!

Long live good music 🫡⚔️

Michael from MAD Records