I very much related to this. Especially in feeling that moment when you realize you're not really controlling it, it's controlling you. It gets to feel like, DAMN, you got me again, after deciding not to smoke, then realizing that you did almost without noticing. It's tough for creatives, especially in this day and age of massive info and distractions clogging up our minds. A few hits often helps narrow the focus to the work....(or YouTube, cleaning the studio, bullshitting with friends etc...) Ultimately, it kind of has a life of it's own. Thanks for the honest post. It's good to consider life issues as well as musical ones in the quest to being the best artist you can be.
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It's so important to realize that we have agency--that we are empowered to make choices regarding our bodies and minds, especially when it comes to self-sabotaging behaviors and self-limiting beliefs.
Boy Michael, I’m very impressed. Very transparent. I did the same thing when my daughter Carly was born in 1995. So did I stay totally away from weed? No. Part was my wife’s fault, she would occasionally bring home a joint for me to enjoy. It was rare but it was a way for her to say I was being a good father. Caryl doesn’t smoke weed. And that lasted for 18 years. Then I discovered my daughter was smoking weed. So guess what. We started smoking weed together when she graduated from college. Carly is an artist too and is an art director in advertising, engaged and on her way. But I have stopped smoking. A very low dose edible is all I enjoy these days.
Thank you for writing this, Michael. Taking your words of wisdom to heart AND mind... again.
I think I'm an undiagnosed neurodivergent type that can get stuck in loops... which is why being a musical artist works so well... we have to loop a lot. This also makes it hard to break the chains of bad habits, so -- when feeling weak-- I tend to look for external sources to interrupt my actions. That works sometimes. I've had decades of cleanliness. I had a similar experience as Mr. Heard, which made things more confusing because I thought I had cleared that hurdle, but now I realize that I stopped for others, instead of for me. A person needs to do what's right for themselves, but sometimes they need to be interrupted to recognize how to actually do that.
I'm also a philosophical educator type that believes in change. It is always inevitable. It's so helpful to get guidance around becoming one's own agent of change, instead of just watching the clouds in awe of nature's power (can't deny that I love to feel like a child gobsmacked by the wonders of the world at all times) and dreamily waiting for something to happen ... again.
The thing that happened was your friendly hand reaching down to offer real help with kindness and conviction in the power of the human mind to persevere and put down what no longer serves any functional purpose in life. Thank you for that interruption.
I salut you, sir. I am so grateful for your words, thoughts, and deeds. You've taught me to activate the power of my words with your powerful example, so I'm crafting a mantra:
"Today is a day for me to be as strong as I actually am."
ouare an open soul Michael. I envy that in you and hope I can be like that more. Thank you
Thanks Don, genuinely appreciate it 🫡
I very much related to this. Especially in feeling that moment when you realize you're not really controlling it, it's controlling you. It gets to feel like, DAMN, you got me again, after deciding not to smoke, then realizing that you did almost without noticing. It's tough for creatives, especially in this day and age of massive info and distractions clogging up our minds. A few hits often helps narrow the focus to the work....(or YouTube, cleaning the studio, bullshitting with friends etc...) Ultimately, it kind of has a life of it's own. Thanks for the honest post. It's good to consider life issues as well as musical ones in the quest to being the best artist you can be.
Being an artist unfortunately means acknowledging the lousy stuff about ourselves haha. Glad this helped!
Thanks so much for sharing your story. It's so important to realize that we have agency--that we are empowered to make choices regarding our bodies and minds, especially when it comes to self-sabotaging behaviors and self-limiting beliefs.
It’s truly bizarre how much mindset really dictates reality… if you can just spot the limiting belief!
Yes, that recognition is like a mini-awakening, allowing space to make a different choice!
Boy Michael, I’m very impressed. Very transparent. I did the same thing when my daughter Carly was born in 1995. So did I stay totally away from weed? No. Part was my wife’s fault, she would occasionally bring home a joint for me to enjoy. It was rare but it was a way for her to say I was being a good father. Caryl doesn’t smoke weed. And that lasted for 18 years. Then I discovered my daughter was smoking weed. So guess what. We started smoking weed together when she graduated from college. Carly is an artist too and is an art director in advertising, engaged and on her way. But I have stopped smoking. A very low dose edible is all I enjoy these days.
Moderation is the secondary lesson of this Substack. One day me, you, and Carly will pop and edible and laugh about all of this
Thank you for writing this, Michael. Taking your words of wisdom to heart AND mind... again.
I think I'm an undiagnosed neurodivergent type that can get stuck in loops... which is why being a musical artist works so well... we have to loop a lot. This also makes it hard to break the chains of bad habits, so -- when feeling weak-- I tend to look for external sources to interrupt my actions. That works sometimes. I've had decades of cleanliness. I had a similar experience as Mr. Heard, which made things more confusing because I thought I had cleared that hurdle, but now I realize that I stopped for others, instead of for me. A person needs to do what's right for themselves, but sometimes they need to be interrupted to recognize how to actually do that.
I'm also a philosophical educator type that believes in change. It is always inevitable. It's so helpful to get guidance around becoming one's own agent of change, instead of just watching the clouds in awe of nature's power (can't deny that I love to feel like a child gobsmacked by the wonders of the world at all times) and dreamily waiting for something to happen ... again.
The thing that happened was your friendly hand reaching down to offer real help with kindness and conviction in the power of the human mind to persevere and put down what no longer serves any functional purpose in life. Thank you for that interruption.
I salut you, sir. I am so grateful for your words, thoughts, and deeds. You've taught me to activate the power of my words with your powerful example, so I'm crafting a mantra:
"Today is a day for me to be as strong as I actually am."
I love that quote, as always, you’ve summarized it beautifully!